the path to ultimate riches August 1, 2005
Posted by Andrew Wee in : Uncategorized , add a commentwould you like to know the secret to achieving unlimited wealth?
The answer lies between your ears.
No, really. the answer lies between your ears.
While we can’t bring anything with us to the grave, the most important thing we have while we’re alive is our mind.
The mind isn’t necessarily just located within our brain.
I define the mind as the summary of our thoughts and feelings, including our intuition or gut feelings.
Our mind is what lets us dream at night when we go to sleep, what gives us a fresh sense of hope and drive each morning when we wake up (some mornings before tougher than others).
Our mind is the skeleton key which often unlocks unsolvable dilemmas (that is, until they’re solved, then they become minor stumbling blocks, upon later reflection).
Our mind is one of the remaining organs which remains fairly sharp even after the body starts to slow down.
In fact, I’ve just listened to a BBC World Service programme, The Interview (the URL will probably be incorrect after a weekly update) with Carl Djerassi.
Known as the man who created a social revolution, he invented the contraceptive pill, and transformed the lives of millions of women by given them more choice and control over when they had children.
Although he’s aged 82, his voice was vibrant and lucid and bursting with ideas.
Breaking beyond the boundaries of chemsitry, he’s recognised for having an extensive collection of Paul Klee works. His drama “An Immaculate Misconception” has been staged in Singapore by the Singapore Repertory Theatre (SRT).
His website provides an interesting treasure trove of information.
However, the one question i’m wondering about is that if more people learn about the importance of their mind (compared to material possessions), why aren’t more people investing in developing and improving their minds?
Most would probably agree that books can be a good source of information and are, for the most part, affordable.
However, I’ve been wondering why reading is on the decline.
There are few readers in this generation compared to thirty years ago.
Granted there are blips along the way, with the Harry Potter books.
But Harry Potter does not equal a literary tradition.
Why would literature be useful for today’s society?
Besides providing insight into our past (without which we will not be able to navigate through the present into the future), books and the printed word captures the thoughts of our ancestors, the ‘zeitgeist’ or spirit of the times so to speak.
take a challenge and go read a book today.
it might just change how you think, how you feel and ultimately how you live your life.
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your inner parent, child and adult
Posted by Andrew Wee in : Uncategorized , add a commenttransactional analysis is a school of thought in psychology that helps explain the way we behave.
Extracting the following information from “Being: A Psychology of Self
Transactional Analysis:
3 ego states: Parent, Child, Adult:
Parent
The Parent is part of yourself that contains all the external events that have happened to you. The parent in you feels and behaves in the same way your mother or father or whoever raised you did. Your parent can be critical, helping or both.
Child
At the same time external events are being recorded in your parent, a second series of recordings is being made simultaneously. The second set of tapes include all of your internal responses to the input of your parent. It is called your child because it includes what you were when you were little. Your child has the same feelings and ways of behaving that you had when you were very young. Your child may be natural, that is on it’s own and not under the influence of your internal parent. or it may be adaptive so as to please your internal parent.
Adult
Your adult is the part of you that figures things out by looking at the facts. Your adult is an observer, a computer, and a decision maker. It is capable of looking at events in your life without the prejudices of your parent or the archaic feelings of your child. The adult is then capable of adding up these observations to see what needs to be changed. Your adult can make decisions and act on them. All in all, your adult is the key to personal change.
These 3 people within us (ego states) have some identifying characteristics or stock phrases. Whenever you hear a voice inside you saying ‘you should’ or ‘don’t’ or mouthing slogans such as ‘you can’t win’ or ‘children should be seen and not heard’ it is very likely your parent is talking.
Your child is more likely to say things like ‘i want’ ‘try and make me’ ‘i feel’ or just ‘wow!’
Your adult tends to deal with observable facts and logic such as ‘let’s see now, the most efficient way to proceed would be…’ or ‘now what i hear you saying, John, is that’
—
Most of the time we’re most aware of the motives of our ‘adult’, however our behaviour could be equally controlled by our parent and child.
What this means is that although we know we ’should’ do something, if in the end, we slack off on doing it, or we do it obsessively, it could be motivation from our parent or child, although we may not be aware of it.
Unless we focus back on our past experience or childhood.
Researchers are finding out that our past experiences have a great effect on our current behaviour. But what’s more interesting is not just WHAT happened to us when we were younger, but rather HOW we responded to what happened to us.
Take my friend, Adam Khoo, for example.
In his book, I Am Gifted, So Are You!
As a child in primary school (grade school), he had a bunch of “F” grade and had been expelled for mibehaviour and did so badly he was rejected by all the secondary schools (high schools) he had applied to. In fact, his results typically hovered at 40-55%. Among his entire cohort of 160 students, he crashed in amongst the bottom 10.
How do you think he might’ve turned out?
Destined to a life of disappointment and disdain?
Actually, the result will surprised you.
He experienced a turning point (read the book to find out!) and received ONE idea that had a tremendous impact on him.
Today he’s (extracted from his bio): “A self-made millionaire by the age of 26, He owns and runs 3 different companies with a combined annual turnover of $20 million. He is the CEO & Managing Director of Adcom (S) Pte Ltd (a leading marketing communications and advertising agency), Founder & CEO of Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group Pte Ltd (a premier training and consulting company that specializes in both corporate training and student education programmes), and the Co-Founder and Executive Director of Event Gurus Pte Ltd (an event management company).”
Adam, in my opinion, is an example that it’s not WHAT happens to us, but rather HOW we react to WHAT happens to us, that determines our success or failure.
Many times, it’s being aware of what our inner parent or child is saying that will help give us a better understanding and help us move up to the next level.
In personality psychology there is the concept of htThe “Wheel of Kookiness” (or wheel of weird).
It goes: It makes no difference whether the feedback someone gives you is valid or invalid. The important thing is whether you come to believe it. If you do, a vicious cycle begins. (and you become ‘weirder’ or worse)
—-
More thoughts: researcher Seligman (1973) says:
One of the most important beliefs that a person can have of himself is that he is not helpless.
—
And Rother ends this with:
Your belief in yourself, as Rother (1971) has aptly pointed out, tends to be either that the environment controls you, or you it. Depression is a rare occurence for those who believe they have some control over their environment.
[all three extracts from Being: A Psychology of Self
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